I initially decided to start this blog after cleaning out our hallway closet. At the bottom in the back corner were old letters, journals and piles of notebooks. The letters presented a series of exchanges with family members and unresolved issues. The journals provided a snippet of me at that a point in time. The notebooks, were my well-laid plane for a blog I hoped to launch. As a therapy student, my curiosity was piqued, so I spent that morning reading through them. One troubling pattern in all these materials, is a consistent tendency to develop well-laid plans, only to fail in consistent follow-through
This post is inspired by material found within those old storage bins in my hallway closet for a blog I never got around to. Underneath a pile of random articles, letters and magazine clippings, is a copy of an email from a friend of mine. In it she states the following.
“If you wonder what you are really committed to, examine your life. What are you creating? Your creations give expression to your commitment. Make sure that this is how you want to invest in yourself.”
I recall receiving the email on a late sleepless night. For whatever reason, I decided to search selected parts of her email in google. Due to sheer boredom I wondered what answers google might provide to these searches. I then printed the first article that popped up. I decided to keep an open mind while reading each article in a desperate search for my lifelong stuckness.
About 5 years ago, when I conducted these searches, the first article that came up on Google has since been copied on a blog post titled “How to Stop the Drama That’s Keeping you Stuck (Goodison, 2015).” In this post are insights into why people become stuck….
What is the Problem?
This article begins by describing drama and dissatisfaction surrounding “the gap between what you have and what you want….[and] who you actually are and who you really want to be (Goodison, 2015).” As this author conceives the problem, our “personal dramas” are simply excuses we use to avoid implementing a solution. Personally I don’t think this advice applies to my cases, however I can see how it can be relevant in certain situations. However, I do relate to the idea of personal drama lingering disparities between where I am and what I want to become.
What is the Solution?
STEP ONE: What are you committed to? (Goodison, 2015).
This author notes that the choices we make are an indication of what we are truly committed to. Actions speak louder than words. What are your choices saying about what you’re committed to in life.
STEP TWO: Using the “what if” technique (Goodison, 2015).
Next, the author of this article discusses a “what-if technique” that requires a suspension of all judgment. Setting aside personal evaluations, and instead acknowledging possibilities can help us get unstuck. We start to see solutions where we used to see problems….
However I have one reservation about the Goodison’s (2015) advice. She discusses the law of attraction here briefly. While I do think we act as creators in our lives through our actions, words, beliefs, thoughts and emotions, I have my reservations about this particular self-help movement. As I understand it, the law of attraction states you magically attract what you think about. In case you’re wondering, real life doesn’t work this way.
STEP THREE: Regain Your Power.
“When you are feeling lost or confused you have lost your power to choose. If you want to be successful simply take full responsibility for your life (Goodison, 2015).” This advice resonates with a personal belief of mine. In fact I blog about it here.
The next phrase I googled from my friends email was the phrase “examine your life, what are you creating?” This search produced an article titled “Know Thyself” (Allen, n.d.). In it the author makes the following statement:
“If certain scenarios show up in your life repeatedly, it is time to examine what part you are playing in creating these situations.” (Allen, n.d.)
I like this advice because it requires us to examine the causal role we have played in our lives. By examining how our lives as a personal creation, a road map can develop that can lead you to a solution. This advice seems simple enough, however we are often to busy looking elsewhere. It is easier to point the finger toward someone else.
The final random phrase from my friends email that I googled was: “How you Want to Invest Yourself”. This phrase produced a google book titled: “Learn to Balance Your Life” (Hinz & Hinz, 2004). Google only allows a “snippet view” of this resource. However, I did appreciate what I was able to read. In particular we are asked to examine how we can convert intentions, by asking the following questions: