Fun Stuff

Fuck Facebook!!!

Despite the advent of technology – or largely due to it – it seems as if the world has transformed into a lonely place. Social media can connect us together 24:7. Every second of our day we hold in our pocket a device that connects us with communities of online friendships…..
……however, something gets lost in the translation with online friendships. The interaction seems so superficial and contrived. The “self” we project is an idealized form. As my mother rightly noted, Facebook seems more like a “brag book” than an alternative mode of communication. Others interact with us through posts and likes that somehow reflect to many a sign of approval. If no one responds you think, “why??” ….

The most disturbing aspect of the social media world ix the collectivist nature of interactions.

Pluralistic ignorance is at an all time high and independent thinking is oftentimes an abhorrent violation of mainstream sensibilities.  There is this need for political correctness from the overly-sensitive who perplexingly lack basic social skills and empathy.  Like minded folks interact with one another and communicate in a mutual support of shared ideals. An us versus them mentality can arise as we simultaneously reject and rebuke those who have views that disagree with ours.
A convenient case and point might be a few of my husband’s Facebook friends who are staunch conservatives. If I make s comment that contradicts theirs I might be called a snowflake. Much gets lost in the translation as my desire for a discussion through the offering of a divergent viewpoint, turns into something unintended.

I simply have no patience at this point for people are unwilling to take time to see the real me.

They don’t know who you are and interactions take that “social nicety” superficiality that barely scratches the surface of what lies within. I can’t be bothered with the idea that I must respond to the “how are you doing” question with some equivalent of “oh fine”.  People perceive others on the other side of the screen in terms of preconceived notions. These preconceived notions have a life all their own.
For instance, if you work with me your understanding of who I am is limited to this context. Then old classmates from high school still remember the girl with cooties who they avoided. Much is lost in the translation as each preconceived notion pales in comparison to the whole and complete me.
It is for these reasons I can’t really get into the whole Facebook thing. I’m not begrudging others for their love of it, or saying Facebook sucks. It’s just that this venue of interaction does not meet my specific needs at this time in life. I’d rather have one or two good friends to hang out with or chat on the phone to “Facebook friendships”…,

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Sofa-time snuggle

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He turns sixteen today!!!!

On this day, 16 years ago I gave birth to my oldest son Josiah.  I won’t bore you with a long story here of my experiences as his mother.  If you wish, you can read this post titled “My Shameful Parenting Story” or this post titled “Good Enough Parenting”….

I simply desire to create a post acknowledging the importance of this day, as well as the love & gratitude I feel for his presence in my life…

Then…

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Now…

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My Mother’s Day….

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Happy birthday piglet!!!

On this day, ten years ago, my youngest son Talan was born.  Since he hates cake, we decided to be creative and make a donught cake instead.  I love this young man with all my heart and cringe at how fast he is sprouting up.  At over five feet tall, wearing men’s shoes, I know already he’s gonna be tall like his daddy.

imageWhat I marvel most about motherhood, is witnessing the gradual process of “becoming” that unfolds.  My two boys are very unique, and with each one “they broke the mold”.  My oldest was a little “heartbreaker”.  At just over five pounds at birth, he was born with a serious heart defect and we almost lost him.  Throughout all the heart surgeries and stresses, we’ve enjoyed watching him grow into the young man he is today.  Now a healthy imagesixteen-year-old he’s looking forward to getting his first car and a job this summer.

In contrast, raising my youngest couldn’t be more different.  Mind you, I can’t say I honestly love one of them more than the other.  It’s just that my relationship with each of my boys is unique unto itself.  Talan was fat and sassy at just under nine pounds.  The normal and typical activities of caring for a healthy infant were a welcome change.  Gone were the stresses of caring for a critically ill baby.  Memories of a past miscarriage fresh in mind, I cherished every minute.

imageAs they grew, temperament-based differences led highly varied parenting expereinces.  My oldest Josiah, while sensitive and caring had a stubborn streak.  He preferred to march to his own drum, and loved asking “why”.  Seeking to form his own opinion, I’m proud to say he’s truly “his own person”.

In contrast, my Talan is the gentlest of souls.  I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that he’s an INFP personality like me.  Our ability to understand one another is uncanny. From a very young age he’s been adept at picking up on how others are feeling.  When he notices I’m down he gives me a hug and says “what’s wrong mommy”?

imageFor this reason, I have to be careful about how I discipline him.  He is so sensitive, that if I raise my voice or express too much frustration, this crushes his very soul. So eager to please, I have to set firm guidelines while communicating messages of “you’re better than that” and not “what’s wrong with you”.

Problems along the way, include his tendency to pick up on all my bad habits: stressing too much about failing perform up to a personal standard and an irrational fear of spiders.  However, I gladly accept these minor issues, because raising him has been a truly healing experience…..

I love you “piglet”! Thank’s so much for being my son….

 

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