NCE – Lifestyle & Career Development

Historical Overview

  1. Frank Parsons – In 1909 wrote book called “Choosing a Vocation”.
  2. 1911 Vocational Guidance Newsletter published.
  3. 1912 Hugo Munsterberg “Psychology & Industrial Efficiency”.
  4. 1917 Army Alpha & Army Beta used for assessing mental abilities.
  5. 1927 Strong Vocational Interest Blank.
  6. 1927 Elton Mayo & Harvard Study Hawethorne Works. Worker behavior study “Hawethorne Effect”
  7. 1939 DOT Book “Dictionary of Occupational Titles”
  8. 1941 Army Classification Test came along
  9. 1942 Counseling and Psychotherapy by Carl Ransom Rogers.
  10. 1957 Donald E Super “Psychology of Careers”.
  11. 1963 Ordin/Nachman/Siegel (?) Psychodynamic Career Counseling
  12. 1966 Krumboltz application of Skinnerian Principles in Career Counseling
  13. 1973 John O Kreitz career maturity inventory.

Career Counseling Theories


An Overview by ROSENTHAl (2005)

You match the worker and the environment. Should have matching traits in each.  Ultimate job occurs when an individual’s traits match the requirements and the characteristics of the job environment.
  1. Draw heavily on psychological testing “psychometric data”
  2. Construed as a one time decision where the right person & job
  3. Influenced and molded by the psychological testing movement.
  4. Differential diagnosis key here (i.e. what makes job bad)
  5. Studies indicate that different judges, form different opinions.
Key Figures
  1. E.G. Williamson –  how diagnose career decision
  2. Frank Parsons.
    1. Try to understand yourself in terms of interests, abilities, aptitudes, resources and other qualities.
    2. Know the requirement of various careers and conditions
    3. Use reason to determine compatability of the two.
    4. 1939 How to Counsel Students
    5. Some say, Minnesota Viewpoint is the only approach to general counseling
    6. 1941 Minnesota Occupational Rating Scales. Is a statistical tool to use to match students with jobs. Relied on probability that a certain match would be compatible.
    7. Emphasized vocational and educational concerns.
    8. Counselor is like a tutor, ultimate decision is left up to client.
    9. Critics – minimizes most important thing, client’s perception of self. This is ignoring.  Also ignores affective aspect

An Overview by Sharf, (2006)

  1. In 1909, Frank Parsons described his concept of vocational guidance in his book Chosing a Vocation. Became the foundation for Trait and Factor Theory…..
    1. Trait refers to a characteristics of an individual that can be measured through testing (i.e. Myers Briggs)
    2. Factor refers to the assessment of characteristics of the person and the job they are interested in.
  2. When selecting an occupation the individual should ideally have the following information:
    1. A clear understanding of yourself
    2. A knowledge of the requirements and conditions of success, advantages and disadvantages, compensation, opportunities, and prospects in different lines of work.
    3. True reasoning on the relations of these two groups of facts.
  3. Parson’s…century-old concepts have been embellished by integrating tests and occupational information with his precepts, described as follows:
    1. STEP ONE: GAINING SELF-UNDERSTANDING (attitudes, abilities, interests, ambitions, resources limitations and causes).
      1. Parson’s Interview on Self-Understanding – In parson’s time relied primarily on interviews and client discussion:
        1. Asked client what they enjoyed doing (interests)
        2. How well they did it (aptitude & achievement)
        3. As clients talked about aspects of their life that were important to them (personal values)
        4. The counselor then observed the client’s personality traits.
      2. Five basic traits and factors can be assessed by testing and interviewing are aptitudes, achievements, interests, values and personality.
        1. ACHIEVEMENT TESTS– real how much the person has learned (NESA testing)
          1. Include academic accomplishments ….
          2. Supervisory ratings of tasks completed.
          3. Certification for entry into a job.
        2. ABILITY TESTING– measures the maximum performance and a person’s level of present ability on a specific set of tasks.
        3. APTITUDE TEST– person’s future probable level of ability to perform a test. (SAT/ACT/ASVAB)….
        4. INTERESTS– often the most important trait used in occupational selection. Important to note, however that interests and abilities do not always correlate.
          1. KUDER Career Search –
          2. Strong Interest Inventory
          3. California Occupational Survey
        5. VALUES – Most often neglected. Should consider general values and work-related values.
        1. OCCUPATIONAL INFORMATION– 2ndIngredient of Trait and Factor Theory.Three Aspects of Information Important to Consider:
          1. Description of occupation, Work Conditions & Salary
          2. Classification Systems of Occupations.
          3. Know the trait and factor requirements for each occupation that a person is seriously considering.
        2. TYPES OF OCCUPATIONAL INFORMAITON –to gather information that describes occupations, the work conditions, and salary.
          1. Booklets by trade associations.
          2. Computer-based Information Systems / Websites
          3. Occupational Outlook Handbook.
          4. National Career Development Association
        3. CLASSIFICATION SYSTEMS– to organize information available on various occupation types.
          1. Holland’s Classification of occupations has six categories.
          2. Dictionary of Occupational Titles (DOT) 12,741 occupations
          3. ONET – Occupational Information Network – 1,170 occupations
            1. Worker Characteristics
            2. Worker Requirements
            3. Experience Requirements
            4. Occupational Requirements
              1. General work activities
              2. Organizational contexts
              3. Work contexts
            5. Occupational Specific Requirements – skills, knowledge, duties, machines, tools, and equipment.
            6. Occupational Characteristics – job opportunities and payscale….
        4. TRAIT & FACTOR REQUIREMENTS– occupational information related to client’s traits. Information on aptitudes, achievements, interests, values and personality is vital to consider….
          1. Strong Interest Inventory….
          2. ASVAB / SAT = Etc…
        1. Integrating information about oneself and occupations is a major goal of career counseling. The match between self and occupation is built into the first two steps of trait and factor theory.
          1. Firstly abilities/interests etc suggest occupations
          2. Secondly, researching occupations suggest optimal traits
        2. Inventories combining this information include SIG Plus and DISCOVER. Allow opportunity to measure interests, values, and self-reported competencies. Provide occupations that match this information.

Rogers never directly theorized this. These techniques focus on the client’s inner self and this opposes the trait-factor theory which deals with the outer self. (Rosenthal, 2005).  

  1. DIAGNOSIS – is unnecessary here and detriment here oftentimes.
  2. The problem is lack of congruence between self and experience.
  3. When occupational used only when client asks for it. Not volunteered.

“The function of the counselor is to provide the core conditions; the function of the client is to engage in self-exploration” (Freedman, 1990)

  1. THERAPIST’S ROLE:  “There are some basic core conditions for any kind of counseling or psychotherapy…First, you must understand your client. We call that empathic understanding…Second, you have to have respect for your client, not as someone who is poor and helpless, or just as someone who is an inadequate individual…The third element is genuineness…and there is a fourth element. That is, concreteness or specificity rather than generality. Specificity is important because one thing that many counselors tend to do is generalize. They tend to interpret, for example. Interpretation is a generalization on a higher level. In counseling and therapy you need to stick to the actual specific ideas and behaviors that the client has communicated and not try to classify them and give them high sounding psychological terms or psychological textbook names.” (Freedman, 1990)
  2. CLIENT’S ROLE – “In career counseling, it is important that clients do engage in self-exploration, in a spontaneous way, at their own rate, in their own way, without being constricted and forced to limit or explain themselves in the words of the counselor….the clients themselves involved in obtaining the information, because it is more meaningful if they have to work at it than if someone just lays it on them.”(Freedman, 1990)

career choice reflects an implementation of life-style; itinvolves putting the life-style into practice via one’s career (Watkins, 1984a).It is saying, &dquo;This is who I am,&dquo; &dquo;This is how I see myselfvis-a-vis others,&dquo;&dquo;This is how I see myself vis-a-vis the world at large.&dquo; For example, theperson whose life-style is oriented around helping and assisting othersmight gravitate toward such jobs as counseling, nursing, or some otherhelping profession.Thus, in coming to understand an individual’s life-style, we come tounderstand his or her life goal, attitudes toward self, others, and the worldat large, and how the life goal and attitudes actually get implemented.

Anne Rowe

One’s job serves as a major source of unconscious needs satisfaction. (psychoanalytic)Unconscious need resulted from early parent/child interaction Families are either person or non-person centered. This influences the careers we choose.  Anne Rowe describes two types of job categories….

  1. NON-PERSON – jobs without interpersonal dynamic
  2. PERSON – counseling

Abraham Maslow hierarchy of needs also explains the career process. Our career satisfies our current hierarchical leve.Uses information from humanistic needs theory in addition to psychoanalytic principle   Anne Rowe was the first career pioneer to create a 2 dimensional classification system to categories by fields and levels.

  1. FIELDS – service, business, organization, technology, outdoor, science, general culture, arts/entertainment
  2. CATEGORIZED – power of needs satisfaction (r/t things or people): Unskilled, Skilled, Semi-Skilled, Professional, Semi-professional, Managerial (1/2)
  3. Genetic factors, intelligence, education, and ability to handle responsibility also vital….

Edward  Bordin

  1. In 1955 wrote textbook Psychological Counseling
  2. Also Psychodynamic perspective of career counseling.
  3. Worked at Univ of Minn Counseling Bureau.
  4. Career choice resolves unconscious conflict.
  5. Difficulty choosing r/t neurotic system from this p.o.v.
  6. Drew on theory of Erickson & Otto Rank…
  7. Criticized for emphasizing internal factors and not focusing on external factors enough.
  8. A.A. Brill – Ego defense mechanisms (sublimation). Job provides socially acceptable outlet for an unconscious impulse.

John Holland – Modal Orientation.

A guy named John Holland believes that career choice and adjustment of a person’s personality type. People express themselves their interests and value through their work choices and experiences People’s impressions and generalizations about work are generally accurate…for this reason he assigns people work environments and categories.
  1. JOHN HOLLANDS SIX TYPES: Measure self-perceived competencies and interests (130)
      1. Vocational Preference Inventory
      2. Self-Directed Search (SDS)
      1. REALISTIC WORK ENVIRONMENTS– Makes physical demands on the individual and have tools/machines/animals that a person must manipulate or work with. Work with things is more important than the ability to work with things is more important than ability to interact with people. (EXAMPLES auto garages, construction sites or farms….)
        1. Enjoy using tools or machines in their hobbies or work.. They tend to seek to develop competencies in areas such as plumbing, roofing, electric, auto repair, farming and technical disciplines
        2. Have little tolerance for abstract theoretical descriptions and approach problems in a practical or problem-solving manner….
        3. They are likely to value money, power, and status while placing lesser value on human relationships (131)
          1. Resistant to expressing their feelings about their career choice and prefer to move directly to answer the problem of choosing a career.
          2. When discussing activities they enjoy, they are likely to enjoy talking about such activities as hunting, fishing and fixing cars.
          3. They are apt to discuss things they have done that show expertise in tools and discuss possessions such as cars, etc they can tinker with
      1. INVESTIGATIVE ENVIRONMENT: Require people to develop solutions to problems through mathematical and scientific interests. Encourages abstract thinking to solve problems creatively. (EXAMPLES include computer programmer, biologist, veterinarian, etc)… (132)
        1. Enjoys puzzles and challenges that require the utilization of intellect.
        2. Seek to work independently to solve problems such as mathematical or scientific questions.
        3. Favorite courses are chemistry, math, physics, geology…
        1. Enjoy the challenge of the unanswered question.
        2. Excited by a problem and want to work hard to find a solution, even though there are relatively little financial reward.
        3. When the career problem itself is seen as a challenge, they may feel better if they view the counselor as a fellow investigator rather than as an expert who is telling them what to do.
      1. ARTISTIC ENVIRONMENT– one that is free and open, encouraging creativity and personal expression….Offering freedom in developing products and answers….Allowed to dress as they wish, structure their own time, and keep few appointments. (EXAMPLES:freelance writer, fine artist, musician)
      2. ARTISTIC PERSONALITY– like opportunities expressing themselves in a free and unstructured way through art, music or writing. Originality and creativity are important.  (133)
        1. Clearly describe how art, music and writing is in their lives.
        2. Enjoy discussing the expression and development of an artistic product.
        3. Enjoy using humor and other methods of expression to show that they are unique….
      1. SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT –Encourages flexibility and understanding of others and the ideas of spirituality and social responsibility. Idealism, kindness, friendliness, and generosity are important here.  (EXAMPLES:teacher, counselor, psychiatrist, social service professions)
      2. SOCIAL PERSONALITY– interested in helping people through teaching, or providing personal services. Prefer to talk to and resolve complex problems that may be ethical or idealistic in nature.
        1. Altrustic in nature, are concerned with contributing a better world than with economic achievement for themselves.
        2. May good for counseling career, however frequently are too verbal, because they value talking, making it difficult for the counselor to assist them and other career group member
      1. ENTERPRISING ENVIRONMENT– People manage and persuade others to attain organizational or personal goals. Finance and economic issues are of prime importance.  People tend to be self-confident, sociable and assertive. Promotion, power and persuasion are critical (EXAMPLES:business management, real estate, politics, insurance, and lobbying)
      2. ENTERPRISING PERSONALITY TYPE – Acquisition of wealth is particularity important for enterprising people. They tend to be assertive and popular, tending to take leadership positions.
      3. ENTERPRISING BEHAVIOR: Enterprising people present themselves in a self-assured manner.  They may appear more self-concident than they feel… about their goal to accomplish wealth…value persuading others….
      1. CONVENTIONAL ENVIRONMENT– organization and planning oriented environment that involves record keeping, filing papers, coping materials and organizing reports.(EXAMPLES:bookkeeping, clerical jobs, etc).
      2. CONTENTIONAL PERSONALITY TYPE – Conventional personality is one who values money, being dependable, and the ability to follow rules and orders….They prefer controlling situations.
      3. BEHAVIOR OF CONVENTIONAL TYPES: Present themselves as organized, yet dependent on others for direction. Difficulty being open to new situations proud of organizational abilities
    8. COMBINATIONS OF TYPES – Resources including “The Occupational Finder” and “Strong Interest Inventory” utilize codes to stand for these types of jobs.  Page 136).
      1. Textbook suggests thinking in terms of the six Holland’s types….
      2. Discuss these types with the client and what is most interesting to them.=
    9. EXPLANATORY CONSTRUCTS – for Holland’s Types are important to discuss :
      1. CONGRUENCE– relationship between personality and the environment. The greater the congruence, the better.
      2. DIFFERENTIATION– both people and environments may differ in terms of how clearly they belong to one of several types. Holland determines this score by  subtracting lowest and highest scores
        1. Undifferentiated people have difficulty making career decisions and don’t have one solid preference they can think of.
        2. One goal of counseling is to help clients to differentiate and broaden their interests, abilities and values within these six types.
      3. CONSISTENCY: Refers to the degree of similarity/dissimilarity between types.  For example social and artistic are similar….
        1. Consistency in personality characteristics
        2. Consistency in aspiration…
        3. Consistency in environment.
      4. IDENTITY –Identity refers to the clarity and stability of a person’s current and future goals. It also refers to the stability of the working environment.  Measured by the my vocational situation form.
    1. Congruence is the most importance of Holland’s concepts and the one that is most widely research. Significantly related to job satisfaction.
    2. The personality inventory that is most frequently paired with Holland’s typology is the NEO five-factor model that assesses (extraversion, neuroticism, agreeableness, conscientiousness, ad openness to experience.
    3. THE ROLE OF ASSESSMENT INSTRUMENTS: inventories have two purposes in Holland’s system….
      1. PURPOSE #1:“Development of the Theory”… For example Vocational Preference Inventory is utilized to validate Holland’s Theory.
      2. PURPOSE #2: for individuals needing career assistance, to establish their personality type and what careers fit with it.  Examples of these assessment intruments


based his theory on the work of Henry Murray who developed a technique for an in-depth personality assessment in various dimensions: “Personology”. Led to formation of the Thematic Apperception Test, “TAT”.  Need & Press – terms explain the function of the personality
  1. Needs – needs of the person
  2. Press – needs of the environment
  3. They must match “Needs Press Hypothesis”.
A career is intended to satisfy and meet one’s needs and an occupation change may sometimes occur as needs change throughout the life span.
  1. Occupations are chosen to meet needs.
  2. The occupation that we choose is the one that we believe will best meet the needs that most concern us.
  3. Needs may be intellectually perceived, or they may be only vaguely felt as attractions which draw us in certain directions. In either case, they may influence choice.
  4. Career development begins when we first become aware that an occupation can help to meet our needs.
  5. Career development progresses and occupational choice improves as we become better able to anticipate how well a prospective occupation will meet our needs. Our capacity thus to anticipate depends upon our knowledge of ourselves, our knowledge of occupations, and our ability to think clearly.
  6. Information about ourselves affects occupational choice by helping us to recognize what we want and what we have to offer in exchange.
  7. Information about occupations affects occupational choice by helping us to discover the occupations that may meet our needs, what these occupations offer to us, and what they will demand of us.
  8. Job satisfaction depends upon the extent to which the job that we hold meets the needs that we feel it should meet. The degree of satisfaction is determined by the ratio between what we have and what we want.
  9.  Satisfaction can result from a job that meets our needs today, or from a job that promises to meet them in the future, or from a job that we think will help us to get the job we want.
  10. Occupational choice is always subject to change when we believe that a change will better meet our needs.

An Overview

Career choice is a process that occurs throughout the lifespan.  Major contributors come from many different fields.  Work is a reflection of who we are. Link up the personality with a matching occupation.  We gravitate and seek out others who work at the job have similar values We are attracted to skills that are in synch with our skills and knowledge of self.
  1. 1951 “Occupational Choice, An Approach to General Theory” – originally thought it was a one-time thing, and an irreversible thing.  He set this is not true
  2. 1972 “Toward a Theory of Occupational Choice, A Restatement” – began to feel that career choice didn’t end at 20, it is a lifelong thing. It is not irreversibility.  Not a matter of compromise but a matter of optimization.  We continue to improve our match between career and self throughout the life.
Donald Super – career development allows us to express our self-concept. Data from a career pattern study following a group of 9th grade boys into adulthood, a longitudinal study.
  1. Individuals implement their self-concepts into the career and it is a matter of self-expression.
  2. Life-Stage Structure – five vocational developmental stages.
    1. Stage one – Growth (birth – 14) person develops interests and needs related to the self-concept
    2. Stage two – Exploration (15-24) career choices are narrowed down.
    3. Stage three – Establishment (25-44) trials and stabilization.
    4. Stage four – Maintenance (45-64) adjusting to improve your work position and situation.
    5. Stage five – Decline (65 – beyond) working less pre-retirement and retirement.
  3. Are a developmental framework for the five activities “Super’s developmental tasks”. Aren’t linear but cyclical.
    1. Crystalization – (14-18) individual goes through cognitive process of picking a general area of interests and using resources to plan something.
    2. Specification – (18-21) the move from tentative choices to a specific career pick
    3. Implementation – (21-24) securing training and securing employment
    4. Stabilization – (24-35) actual work experience to determine of choice good
    5. Consolidation – (35 and beyond) establish yourself into a career through status, advancements, and security.
  4. Career Patterns –
    1. Conventional Pattern – Trying several and picking one.
    2. Multiple Trial Pattern – person hops from entry level position to entry level position.
    3. Unstable Pattern – lots and lots of jobs more than normal, but finally settle and make choice.
    4. Stable pattern – people highly skilled, and educated. Choice is permanent and may occur at a rather early age.
  5. John Kreitz – Career Maturity Inventory used heavily by followers of Donald Super’s Model.
  6. Super formulated concept of career rainbow. Average person plays nine life roles. These roles played at home, work, school, community.   The meshing of the nine roles and four theaters tell the story of one’s career a career pattern.  Individuals may play several roles simultaneously causing success/failure.
    1. The child
    2. The student
    3. The leisure-ite
    4. The citizen
    5. The worker
    6. The spouse
    7. The homemaker
    8. The parent
    9. The pensioner.
David Tidemann and Robert O-Harra – Developmental theorists anticipation stage and induction stage in decision-making with regard to careers. Holistic based on Erickson with regard to ego identity.  Took Super’s stages and added personal theory to it.
  1. Anticipation / Fantasy Stage – Exploration / Crystalization / Clarification Occur. Try to Imagine what it would be like to work in a particular career.
  2. Induction Stage – Reformation & integration. The self-concept and job expectations are modified.
Social Learning / Behavioristic
Sociological Theories – state that the person’s social culture and class can influence a person’s boundaries and expectations. Based on Bandura to explain career dynamics assumes that people are reinforced for tasks they perform well and will choose careers that they have been reinforced for in life.  Rely on site visits to jobs so the person can try out the job in person.   Do believe in genetics and innate tendencies but tend to focus on what can be worked with and not the genetics.  The trick is to expose the person to as many job possibilities as possible in order to find good learning experience.
    • Decision Approaches – Evolved from Economics and the law of mathematical probability. May classify Tideman’s as this possible.  Zeroes in on decision making rather than any other things.  Decision theories operate on notion that person coming for counseling has a number of viable alternatives already.  Values clarification exercises may be useful.  Personal values must be used to make a healthy decision.  When you make a choice you assume a given choice yields a specific outcome
    • Expectancy-X values – likelihood that a given act will be followed by a given outcome. Many have written about expectancy x values in career counseling
    • Bandura – Self-efficacy approach. Person’s believe regarding him/herself have great impact on outcome.
    • Gelatt Decision Model – information is the fuel of the decision. Three types of information required for decisions depend on which of three systems are operating.
    • Predictive System – fueled by alternatives and the probability of outcomes.
    • Valuing System – personal likes / dislikes / preferences.
    • Decision System – fueled by personal rules and information about priorities related to the two aforementioned systems.
    • Gelatt feels that mathematical game theory, used in economics will ultimately be utilized to counseling in a scientific way to help aid the decision procedures that are made in counseling.
    • Berglund – When making a sound decision one should find the problem, brainstorm alternatives, get necessary information, process the information, make plans, set goals, and then implement the plans and evaluate the effectiveness.
    • Pitts & Herron – all decision dilemmas have four elements to assessed: (1) objectives; (2) choices; (3) outcomes; (4) assessments
Resources for Career counselors
    1. OOH – Updated q2 years. 250 occupations listed.  90% of high schools utilize this “Occupational Outlook Handbook”.  Has information on requirements; conditions; availability of jobs; earnings; and related occupations.  Helps predict economic trends in future and job employment opportunities.  Can be accessed online.
    2. DOT – Dictionary of Occupational Titles. Multivolume guide with 30,000 titles.  Acquainting with huge variety of jobs with nine-digit code.
    3. GOE – Guide for Occupational Exploration – Groups jobs according to one’s interests, abilities and traits. It tells you how these best fit a given job.  Companion guide to the DOT.
    4. O’NET – O’Net Online. Occupational Information Network. Will replace the DOT.  Has over 950 occupations, classified by the standard occupation classification (SOC) System.  O’Net has 275 standardized descriptors of skills, knowledge, tasks, occupational requirements, work abilities, interests, and values to help employers create accurate job descriptions.  All people can use for various reasons.
    5. Discover 2 / Choice / Sigi+ – interactive guidance systems. Can access information and data very quickly.
    6. Spillover – life satisfaction and job satisfaction are very closely related. Spillover effect says that the feelings of one bleed or spill over into the other.
    7. Compensatory Effect – hypothesizes that we compensate for poor job satisfaction by trying to achieve high life satisfaction.


Freeman, S. C. (1990). CH Patterson on client‐centered career counseling: An interview. The Career Development Quarterly, 38(4), 291-301.
Rosenthal, H. (2005). Vital information and review questions for the NCE and state counseling exams. Routledge
Sharf R.S. (2006). Applying career development theory to counseling. 6th Ed. Belmont CA:  Thomson.
Watkins Jr, C. E. (1993). Psychodynamic career assessment: An Adlerian perspective. Journal of Career Assessment, 1(4), 355-374.

Share This:

Change Talk….

Sustain Talk: When a person has no interest in changing.

Change Talk: When a person is interested in changing.

How to Identify Change Talk

How to Elicit Change Talk
How to Respond

Share This:

dreams, goals, & plans

If you add a completion date to a dream you have a goal

If you create a list of action steps for your goal, you have a plan.

If you take action daily to work towards your plan, this is success.

Share This:

Fuck Facebook!!!

Despite the advent of technology – or largely due to it – it seems as if the world has transformed into a lonely place. Social media can connect us together 24:7. Every second of our day we hold in our pocket a device that connects us with communities of online friendships…..
……however, something gets lost in the translation with online friendships. The interaction seems so superficial and contrived. The “self” we project is an idealized form. As my mother rightly noted, Facebook seems more like a “brag book” than an alternative mode of communication. Others interact with us through posts and likes that somehow reflect to many a sign of approval. If no one responds you think, “why??” ….

The most disturbing aspect of the social media world ix the collectivist nature of interactions.

Pluralistic ignorance is at an all time high and independent thinking is oftentimes an abhorrent violation of mainstream sensibilities.  There is this need for political correctness from the overly-sensitive who perplexingly lack basic social skills and empathy.  Like minded folks interact with one another and communicate in a mutual support of shared ideals. An us versus them mentality can arise as we simultaneously reject and rebuke those who have views that disagree with ours.
A convenient case and point might be a few of my husband’s Facebook friends who are staunch conservatives. If I make s comment that contradicts theirs I might be called a snowflake. Much gets lost in the translation as my desire for a discussion through the offering of a divergent viewpoint, turns into something unintended.

I simply have no patience at this point for people are unwilling to take time to see the real me.

They don’t know who you are and interactions take that “social nicety” superficiality that barely scratches the surface of what lies within. I can’t be bothered with the idea that I must respond to the “how are you doing” question with some equivalent of “oh fine”.  People perceive others on the other side of the screen in terms of preconceived notions. These preconceived notions have a life all their own.
For instance, if you work with me your understanding of who I am is limited to this context. Then old classmates from high school still remember the girl with cooties who they avoided. Much is lost in the translation as each preconceived notion pales in comparison to the whole and complete me.
It is for these reasons I can’t really get into the whole Facebook thing. I’m not begrudging others for their love of it, or saying Facebook sucks. It’s just that this venue of interaction does not meet my specific needs at this time in life. I’d rather have one or two good friends to hang out with or chat on the phone to “Facebook friendships”…,

Image found here

Share This: